Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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