He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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