she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize