thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I can't turn off my feet"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize