But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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