He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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