The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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