I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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