Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
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It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
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We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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