Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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