I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
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I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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