Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
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17 year olds will be the death of me.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
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I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
All the doctor said was why
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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