I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You can't motorboat a personality
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize