They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
we're so committed to being not committed
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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