He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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