literally had 100 drinks last night.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize