I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize