I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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