there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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