P.S. I can't hear my feet
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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