when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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