I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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