Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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