just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
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Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
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I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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