Porn is love you can see.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize