Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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