I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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