**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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