my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize