grandma shit on top of the toilet
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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