No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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