So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think I died a long time ago.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i barfeds in our rink
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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