peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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