I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize