she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
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I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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