dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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