she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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