Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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