this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize