i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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