Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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