Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We have started to decorate penises.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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