Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
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When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
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Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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