after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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