i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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