So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
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After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
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You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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