ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
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And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
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Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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