Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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