Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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