Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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